Stop Being a Tourist: The 5-Step Guide to Living Like a Local, Anywhere in the World

My exact method for uncovering hidden gems, avoiding tourist traps, and forging a real connection—even if you only have three days.

We all know the feeling. You land in a new city, and your itinerary is perfect. It’s efficient, organized, and covers all the "must-see" spots. Back in the day, we got these routes from decade-old blogs. Today, we just ask ChatGPT: "Build me an optimal 48-hour itinerary for Rome."

And it delivers. A logical route that covers the Colosseum, the Vatican, and the Trevi Fountain. But then you find yourself standing in line, eating generic industrial gelato at a "highly-rated" tourist trap, and primarily feeling like you've just checked a box. You saw everything, but you felt nothing.

I first deeply understood this disconnect in Sofia, Bulgaria. I got intentionally lost on a side alley and suddenly smelled something incredible. I found a tiny bakery, with no sign, and a line of locals. When I asked, I found out it was only open for one hour a day. One hour. That’s not something ChatGPT will tell you, simply because it’s not listed on Google. I returned the next day, stood in line, and ate the best pastry of my life.

That moment is the core of my philosophy. I realized the real magic is in the places AI can’t find because they aren't "logical," aren't "efficient," and require one thing: human curiosity. In this post, I'm giving you my full method. I'll show you how to use modern tools (yes, even AI!) not to find what everyone sees, but to uncover what everyone misses. It's time to stop being a tourist and start belonging.

People wait in line outside a hidden bakery in Sofia, Bulgaria, not listed on Google.

Step 1: Use AI as a "Research Assistant," Not a "Trip Manager"

It's not 2015. Running away from technology is foolish. Using it correctly—that's genius.

Most people make a critical mistake: they ask ChatGPT to "build them an itinerary." This is the surest way to get a generic route that includes all the tourist traps.

Here is the right way to use AI: Don't ask it what to do. Ask it for "raw materials" for your own custom research, based on your preferences.

Instead of asking: “Build me a 3-day itinerary for Rome.” Ask it smart questions:

• "What are the 5 most interesting neighborhoods in Rome for street art and independent coffee shops?"

• "Find me a list of local food blogs written by Rome residents."

• "Which farmers' markets are operating in Berlin on Tuesday mornings, and what are the 3 most recommended cafes by locals within a one-kilometer radius?"

What have we achieved? We’ve turned AI from a tool that gives us closed (and boring) answers into a tool that opens the right doors for us. It gives us the "neighborhood," it gives us the "local's blog," and now we can begin the real research.

This leads us directly to the next step.

A Sunday farmer's market I found in Vienna, Austria

Step 2: Turn Digital "Noise" into a Personal "Treasure Map"

Okay, so the AI (in Step 1) did its job. It gave us "raw materials": an interesting neighborhood (let's say "Neukölln" in Berlin) and three seemingly reliable local blogs.

This is where 99% of people stop. They read the blogs, maybe jot down two names on a phone note, arrive in the city, and forget everything.

My method is to turn this information into a visual asset immediately. My most important tool is Google My Maps. This is the beating heart of every journey I take.

Here is the exact process:

1. I open a new map named "Berlin Hidden Gems."

2. I read the blog the AI found me. The blogger recommends a café called 'Rösterei Kaffe'? I don't just read—I immediately open the map, find the address, and drop a pin in the color "Coffee."

3. I add a personal note to the pin: "Local blogger rec, said the cappuccino here is amazing."

4. I continue. The blogger recommends a second-hand record store? Pin it. A small gallery down an alley? Pin it.

I do this for every interesting recommendation I find, from every source. Suddenly, after an hour of research, I have a personal map with 15 spots that no regular tourist guide will ever give me.

This is exactly how I found the secret bar in Melbourne. I only heard a rumor about it with no exact address. I simply dropped a general pin in the alley they described. Without this custom map I built for myself, I never would have found my way back in the dark.

What have we achieved? We stopped relying on our memory. We turned passive information (a blog post) into an active navigation tool. Now, when we're on the ground, we can simply open our map and see what hidden gems are around us.

Navigating the bustling streets of Ho Chi Minh City with a personalized map.

Step 3: The Power of Walking (or 'Getting Intentionally Lost')

Okay, so you have the amazing digital map you built, and you're in the interesting neighborhood the AI helped you find. You have 15 pins dropped around you.

This is the moment most people make a critical mistake: they open Google Maps, choose the next destination, and put on their headphones. They start "checking off" the list of our hidden gems, turning it into another "Top 10," just a more personal one.

Don't do that.

My method is simple: Choose one pin on the map that looks the furthest away, put your phone in your pocket, and just start walking in its general direction. Promise me you will lift your head up from the screen.

The real magic happens between the pins.

This is the moment you suddenly smell a bakery (like in Sofia!). This is the moment you hear music from a side street. This is the moment you see a cool little shop that had no chance of showing up in digital research.

It's a philosophical choice.

In Hoi An, Vietnam, for example, the AI and my map will lead me to excellent, 5-star cafes with A/C and fast Wi-Fi. And that's great if I need to work.

But the real Vietnamese experience? It happens when you decide to ditch the A/C, sit on a 10-cm-high plastic stool on the sidewalk, drink the thick, black coffee poured by the local woman, while motorbikes whiz past your ear.

The AI will filter this experience out because it's "uncomfortable" and "noisy." I run towards it, because it's real.

What have we achieved? We stopped experiencing the city through a screen, and started experiencing it through our senses. We've turned our map from a "directions map" into a "general compass." This is how you find your next bakery, and this is how you create stories that no AI can write.

A narrow alley in Heraklion, Crete, during the early morning hours, with quiet streets and closed restaurants.

Step 4: Using the "Human Algorithm" (i.e., Just Talk)

Okay. So you got lost, you're sitting in a cool café you found, and you drank coffee.

That's great. But it's still passive.

The next step is the one where most people freeze. It's also the step where the real magic happens. This is the stage where we close the phone and open our mouth.

I know, it's scary. "What, just talk to strangers?" Yes, but with a method.

I call it "The One Question Rule."

This doesn't mean trying to have a deep conversation with every person on the street. It means finding the right person (the barista who made your coffee, the cool shop owner, your Airbnb host) and asking them one, simple, complimentary question:

"I have to ask... where do you go for a good (local) dinner?"

This is the golden question.

• The word "you" makes it personal (not "where should I go").

• The words "local" create a shared secret.

This is exactly what I did in Playa del Carmen, Mexico. After days of eating expensive, mediocre food on the "Disneyland" of Fifth Avenue, I asked my local hostess "The One Question."

She laughed, told me "Finally, someone asks," and sent me a few blocks inland to a place called "Taquerias el Nero." A small, noisy place, packed with locals, where I ate perfect Taco al Pastor for 20 pesos.

What have we achieved? We got a recommendation that no AI in the world can give. A recommendation based on personal taste, familiarity, and a two-second human connection. We’ve changed from tourists searching on Google to guests who received a personal tip.

Employee meal at the bar where I volunteered, located in the Selina Hotel, Playa del Carmen.

Step 5: The "Second Date" Model (How to Apply Everything to a Short Trip)

Okay, I hear you.

"Maya, all this sounds amazing, but I'm not a digital nomad. I'm a mother of two / working full-time, and I have exactly 4 days in Rome. I don't have time to 'get intentionally lost' or 'talk to baristas'."

This is the most common excuse, and this is the point where I want to stop you. My method doesn't require more time. It requires less time, but in a smarter way.

Let's be honest: trying to "conquer" Rome in 3 days is a sure recipe for sore feet, disappointment, and feeling like you were in a race.

This is where my "Second Date Model" comes in.

• First Date (Regular Tourism): This is the date where you go to the Colosseum, the Vatican, the Trevi Fountain. It's formal, a little awkward, you check boxes, and mostly take pictures.

• Second Date (My Method): This is the date where you skip the small talk and go straight to their favorite spot: the small wine bar in the alley they know, their neighborhood park, the family restaurant only they know about.

My goal on a short trip is to skip straight to the Second Date.

How do we do this?

• Give up the 'Race': We give up trying to see all 10 major sites in a crazy rush. Instead, we choose the 2-3 sites you most want to see, and dedicate the rest of the time to living the city.

• The "One Sight" Rule: Sure, you're going to Rome, you want to see the Colosseum. Do it. Take a half-day on the first morning, check the box, take the selfie.

• The moment you're done—You are a Local: Now, put the tourist map aside. Go "home" to your neighborhood. Open the personal map you built and start living there. Sit in the café you pinned. Get lost in the side streets. Ask the barista "The One Question."

What have we achieved? Instead of returning home with the same photos as everyone else and saying, "I saw Rome," you'll return home and say, "Wow, I lived in Sofia for three days. I found an amazing bakery and drank wine in a little spot only the locals know."

This is a deeper, cheaper, and unforgettable experience. You turned 3 days of "checking boxes" into 3 days of "belonging."

I want to turn this first step from theory into practice.

Instead of needing to remember all five steps, I've turned this entire philosophy into a free, interactive tool that will push you to do it in practice.

🎁 Get the MY DAILY JOURNEYS Bingo Challenge for Free!

This isn't just another boring PDF you forget in a folder. It's a fun web app (that also works offline!) that turns everything we talked about into a game:

• It will make you 'get intentionally lost' (like in Step 3).

• It will challenge you to 'speak to a local' (like in Step 4).

• It will remind you to 'sit in a café without your phone' (the core of our philosophy).

And the best part? You can choose exactly what kind of trip you're taking (Foodie? Digital Nomad? Solo Traveler?) and receive a random challenge board that is custom-tailored just for you.

It's the ultimate tool to implement the "Second Date Model" in any destination worldwide.

No need to register, just get instant access to start the challenge:

I want to Play!

The next time you plan a trip, stop just planning and start challenging yourself. Go find your own "one-hour bakery." It's waiting for you there.

Because it's time to stop being tourists, and start belonging.

Using a bingo app on my phone to ask the waiter surprising questions, pushing me out of my comfort zone to discover unexpected stories.